Every relationship is conducive to disagreements. But establishing ground rules could help you work through conflict instead of getting stuck.

• Fight by mutual consent: Don’t insist on a fight at a time when one of you can’t handle this type of strain. A good fight demands two ready participants.
• Stick to the present: Don’t dredge up past mistakes and faults you can do nothing about.
• Stick to the subject: Limit the fight to one subject. Don’t throw other problems into it. Tackle these another time.
• Don’t hit below the belt: You are aware of each other’s sensitive areas. Don’t go there.
• Don’t quit; work it out: Bring the fight to a mutual conclusion. Otherwise, it will just recur.
• Don’t try to win – EVER: If one wins, the other loses and begins to harbor resentment, which will eventually destroy, rather than build the relationship.
• Respect crying: Tears are a valid response to genuine feelings – for both men and women. But don’t let them sidetrack you.
• Avoid violence at all costs: Physical violence violates all of the above rules for fighting fair.

Finally, remember that fighting between married partners has the purpose of clearing the air and expressing deep feelings in order to build a more unified life.